The shadow of the shunt

This morning was G's last dose of antibiotics. He has a fever. I debate, I call, and we go. He was on amoxicillin, so I wouldn't have been surprised if it hadn't done the trick for the UTI we were trying to get rid of. It looks like it's just a virus, though.

I said to the doctor that I felt so paranoid bringing him in for just a virus. His comment was, "You need to be paranoid with him." He meant this in a reassuring way, and I took it that way.

I still feel paranoid, though. G is four months post-op for his shunt, and he's still at risk for shunt infection. He cleared for strep throat (his throat was red), his urine sample looked clear, so we're going with the virus. Unless something grows in the cultures. His blood count was good, though (11, 000), so as I run through all these things I feel calmer.

I feel like, though, I live under a shadow. The shadow of the shunt. The questions, the concerns, the potential issues. They are always there. I'm always trying to rule them out. Will I be able to breathe easier someday?