Before even becoming pregnant with baby #4, I had visions of my kids playing all together. Running, playing ball, laughing, all that good stuff. I have two girls and two boys. I found out G was a boy the same day I found out he was going to have spina bifida. No, wait, I actually found out he was a boy when we were told he had no chance to live. The next day we found out it was just spina bifida when we saw the perinatologist.
Those dreams of siblings and brothers seemed to crash around me. My overloaded, worrying brain couldn't conjure up happy images. I saw a little boy in a wheelchair watching from the sidelines, left out and unable to do anything. Fortunately, this dismal picture was so far from the truth. The reality.
I had such a narrow view of what disabilities really, truly entail. Oh, yes, my dream is still different than it was when I became pregnant, but it's not doom and gloom. I have a new understanding of what disabled means, how it works.
G is such a part of our family. I remember when I had a difficult time imagining what life was going to be like with him, and now I can't imagine life without him. He fits in so perfectly. He's that fourth child I dreamed about, but an even better reality.