Wednesday, May 23, 2007


There were so many things I looked forward to with my last baby. I couldn't wait to buy him/her baby shoes. With my older kids I hadn't heard about Robeez or Bobux, and I couldn't wait to purchase some. I looked forward to enjoying and relishing so many different things. Homebirth, slings, being that ultra-relaxed fourth time mom and enjoying every minute with my last baby.

I don't mourn often the things that changed when we received his diagnosis, but the shoes are the one that cuts the most for some reason. My nephew was born the same time as G, and he has some of the cutest shoes ever. I missed out on shoes with my oldest, who also had clubfoot. At least, when she turned a year, her shoes could go straight on her feet. With G, we're always having to figure something out that will go over the AFOs. The robeez did fit at one point, but they don't anymore.

It's one of those things. Just one of those tiny losses that cut deeper than they should.

My sister has helped find some cool footwear for my kid, and I love them (and her), but I would so love to just buy the shoes I want to.

So many people comment on the cuteness of the AFOs, but I have a hard time with the appearance sometimes. We've gotten the buses and trucks, or whatever the design is, but they mostly seem awkward and hot-looking to me. I don't mind them in the winter, but in the summer I want to leave them off and let his toes be bare. He needs the AFOs for stability and maintaining correction for his clubfeet. I don't want to lose that correction (we went through 21 casts, two tenotomies, and 7 hour trips one way for the last five), and I don't want him to fracture his leg again. So, they aren't optional.

I miss bare toes, I miss cute socks, I miss adorable shoes. It's just one of the little things that seems big sometimes.

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